Subjects of the British Empire,
One would like to offer an alternative Christmas Speech for 2015.
A sort of tête–à-tête between old friends you might say.
Of course, those brainwashed cnuts in MI5 won’t like it one bit, but it really is about time one was allowed a free rein to address you.
Sadly, it’s been yet another annus horribilis at the palace as we’ve struggled to keep a lid on Britain’s VIP child-abuse scandal.
As you all know, we royals love befriending paedophiles and one personally likes nothing better that dishing out gongs and medals to all manner of child-raping scum.
Where’s the harm in that we hear you say?
Quite right, there is none.
But all these darned social media campaigners are making things terribly uncomfortable for us Windsors and shining a light into our sordid privates is just not cricket.
Take this article for example:
” We now know that Jimmy Savile was a murderous child-rapist who had hoodwinked the British public for over 50 years.
His close links to the Royals can only be explained by his true role as a procurer of children to be abused in satanic rituals.
There is a now a desperate whitewash taking place by the intelligence services and Buckingham Palace who are panic-stricken that the truth is being exposed.
According to the Daily Star:
” PAEDOPHILE Jimmy Savile named the royal family in his bombshell interview with police but any mention of them was removed from the released transcripts.
The papers from a 2009 police quiz were released last week following a seven-month battle by the Daily Star Sunday.
But the 26 pages – which exposed the evil pervert as a bully and a liar – came with 96 redactions (crossings out).
Today we can reveal the documents had been vetted by Buckingham Palace – and that the serial sex attacker’s royal connections were removed.
One reference Savile made about a cousin of the Queen was included in an internal police report released in January.
But on Tuesday, when Surrey Police published the interview transcripts, there was no mention of her.
Other references to royalty were also seemingly erased – and during our fight to obtain the records, police let slip Buckingham Palace’s involvement.
Tony Smith, the force’s information access manager, made the reference as he explained why it was taking so long to release the documents.
He told us that, as well as going to a senior police chief outside the force, the papers had gone “to Buckingham Palace to consider…because they are mentioned in it”.
There is no mention of Buckingham Palace or anyone from the royal family in the edited scripts.
And Savile – given an OBE by the Queen in 1972, followed by a knighthood in 1990 – was someone who liked to name-drop his royal connections.”
Why are the Royals links to Savile being suppressed in this way?”
One is not amused.
And poor old Charles has been caught with his pants down on numerous occasions, this year being no exception.
His close chum Bishop Peter Ball, was convicted for decades of abuse, raping young boys at will, and Charles was devastated when he was caught.
Another chum, Rolf Harris , was also imprisoned for child-abuse crimes.
Poor old Rolf.
It’s a little known fact that Princess Di had to be bumped off because she found out about the paedophilic ways of the British Establishment.
What else could we do?
So was Jill Dando, when she too found out what we all get up to.
We had to reward Alun Farthing for his part in the ruse so we made him one’s chief botty-fiddler.
Poor Andrew has also been the subject of nasty innuendo because one of his pals is child-pimp Jeffrey Epstein, who regularly trafficks youngsters around the globe to be raped by wealthy VIPs.
Freeloading Andy has denied any wrongdoing, and we believe him.
So should you.
In another callous move, police interviewed raisin-in-a-wig, Cliff Richard, in relation to child-abuse claims.
Just because Cliff likes fiddling with boys that’s no reason to judge him.
And with his special preference for choir boys you can rest assured he’s as Christian as he says he is.
Even one’s consort, Greek benefit scrounger Philip, has been linked to the sordid shenanigans, with evidence emerging that he attended parties where care-home boys were abused.
” Rumours abound that some of our senior male royals have a penchant for young boys and are involved in the abuse of vulnerable children from care homes.
One such scandal surrounds the Elm Guest House in Barnes which operated in the 80’s and where boys were trafficked from care homes to be abused by VIP filth.
In a strange twist, Prince Philip has long been blamed for the deaths of Princess Diana and Dodi by Mohamed Al-Fayed.
Diana herself had knowledge of the Elm Guest brothel and even helped a former victim:
” The British Establishment is being rocked to its foundations by the Elm Guest House child-abuse scandal.
The scandal arose from claims of sexual abuse and the grooming of children by British politicians, Royals and VIP’s, at parties for men at the former Elm Guest House in Rocks Lane, near Barnes Common in South West London during the late 1970s and 1980s. Vulnerable boys from nearby Grafton Close care home were trafficked to the Elm and subjected to horrific abuse to satisfy the filthy perverts.
Could Princess Diana’s death be linked to the scandal?
In this shocking article from the Mirror (2 Feb 2013), we find that Diana was aware of abuse allegations at the Elm close contact with a victim:
The man, now in his forties, met the princess when he was sleeping rough outside a London church.
He claims he was subjected to horrific abuse at the Elm from the age of 10 while he was in care at Grafton Close children’s home.
Diana gave him food and helped him find a temporary home as he battled to rebuild his life in his twenties after escaping care.
He left a tribute to Diana at Kensington Palace when she died in the Paris car crash of 1997.
The man said: “I have rebuilt my life and I owe it all to Diana.“
“She kept in touch with me even after she’d helped my back on my feet. I have lost a real friend.”
The Royals sordid secrets may also be know to the Met Police.
“ Who are the mysterious armed Met police unit, SCO19?
According to wikipedia:
” Specialist Crime and Operations Specialist Firearms Command (SCO19) (previously known as SO19 and then CO19) is a Central Operations branch within Greater London‘s Metropolitan Police Service.The Command is responsible for providing a firearms-response capability, assisting the rest of the service, which is normally unarmed”
The SCO19 were the unit responsible for the shooting of Jean Charles de Menezes at Stockwell tube station.
The SC019 were allegedly trained by the Israeli police force.
In the comments section of a website discussing a high-level paedophile ring the following statement was made:
” Members of SO19 know about the kids home behind Waterloo Station where they used to drop of and collect a senior royal. Good few years ago though!”
In February 2013, an elite police officer, Colin Smelt, was found with dead with gunshot wounds at his home in Camden.
He was a Royal Protection Officer with the Met.
Apparently there are no suspicious circumstances surrounding his death.”
Cruel rumours have also emerged that we were responsible for the disappearance of children from a Canadian orphanage who were taken away by us and never seen again.
One was even less amused when one’s cousin, David Cameron, was accused of performing a sex-act with a dead pig.
Especially when we know for a fact that he performed it with a dead child.
Finally, one’s year has ended with the tragic news of the fake-death of one this countries finest boy-rapists. Greville Janner.
Lovely Greville did so much for Queen and country that one was devastated to find he was forced flee to Israel just because he’d been abusing young boys for decades.
What a shame.
So you see, as your monarch, we really must insist that in 2016 you solemnly promise to stop raking up all the sordid details of our links to Britain’s VIP paedophile network.
Just go back to being poor and watching Eastenders like you used to.
Thank-you and Merry Christmas.