Urgent Christmas Appeal: Help Peter Mandelson find his missing hamster

Mandy's hamster

Rothschild bumboy, Peter Mandelson, was left in floods of tears last night when told he would not be replacing Rolf Harris on the next series of Animal Hospital.

Paedophilic Pete, who loves nothing better than buggering and then strangling young boys, thought the job was his after reading you had to be a pervert to present it.

animal-hospitala couple of cunts

Unfortunately though, he is now subject to an investigation by the RSPCH- The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Hamsters- following an anonymous tip-off from a French hospital.

They were worried about how much he really cares for animals after his pet hamster Hodgie disappeared in mysterious circumstances.

Hodgie is named after Pete’s close pal, child-procurer and despicable hag, Margaret Oppenheimer-Hodge.


Margaret Hodge is up to her neck in filth of the highest order and is personally responsible for the cover-up of the death of Jason Swift and the vile Islington care home abuse rings.


She loves nothing better than to snatch children from loving parents and hand them over to her paedophilic fellow tribesmen.


Pete himself is one of the sickest, most satanic, child-raping, pieces of scum to have ever walked this earth and is quite unbelievably the head of the NSPCC.

He also has a most disturbing hobby.

Peter Mandelson likes to put live, furry animals up his back passage.


Good Lord.

Sounds weird to us but apparently it gives him a bit of a thrill.

On one occasion, a petrified gerbil went nuts in Pete’s nether regions and caused him so much damage he couldn’t sit down for a week (Pete that is, not the gerbil).

In fact, come to think of it, it’s probably time to call off the hunt for Pete’s missing pet after all.

RIP Hodgie the hamster.



8 thoughts on “Urgent Christmas Appeal: Help Peter Mandelson find his missing hamster

  1. Totally inhumane criminals…this nonce is pure evil..in charge of a sanctuary…what a monstrous sick ploy. We have them named and shamed….now they need arresting and made to face the world they have infected. Dark Lords all of them. Guilty as. No hiding place for these psycho’s.

  2. Now far be it for me to inject a little “off” humour here … but I was reminded of something I heard a while ago:

    I do apologise. There really does not seem to be any limit to the depths to which these people will sink .. (totters off to the decanter for a restorative and a chapter or two of Hardy before bedtime).

  3. Funny how Hodgie’s ( the woman not the gerbil) nephew just ‘happened’ to be at the Ocean Club Beach Resort when the McCanns were there in 2007. Now why would a rich dick like that go to a dump like OC?

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