It was worrying to hear that things are going from bad to worse for beloved monarch, Queen Elizabeth.
Despite being one of the richest women on earth, Queenie has somehow managed to blow her taxpayer-funded allowance and is down to her last million.
According to media reports, Buckingham Palace has been neglected and vital repairs have been left undone for decades.
Quite what Queenie has squandered vast sums of our money on is a complete and utter mystery but she may soon be joining residents on Benefits Street if she can’t pawn off some of the family silver a.s.a.p.
By strange coincidence, it was also announced this week that Prince Charles is to start a job-share with Queenie in what the media are calling an ‘historic handover’.
According to the Express:
” Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II seems set to gradually hand over charge to her son and heir to the throne Prince Charles as it emerged that the two will embark on an effective “job share” from this year.
The press offices of the 87-year-old Queen and the Prince of Wales are to be merged, in a further sign of preparations for the day when Prince Charles becomes king.
The new operation will be run by the prince’s spokesperson, but will be based at Buckingham Palace.
“We are merging the press offices to better coordinate various strands of activity,” a palace statement said.
According to a report in ‘The Sunday Times’, the 65-year-old Prince of Wales will accompany the Queen on the beaches of Normandy this summer to mark the 70th anniversary of the D-Day landings and the joint trip on June 6 is the most high-profile example yet of Charles sharing official duties with his mother on the world stage.
The future king will stand in for the Queen at some of the day’s key engagements.”
Of course, what the papers fail to mention is that the Royals are actually panic-stricken that the truth is emerging about their links to VIP paedophile rings, and are running around like headless chickens behind the scenes.
Things are so bad, Charlie has now formed a rather strange attachment disorder, which is causing increasing alarm amongst Palace psychiatrists
According to the Mail:
” Prince Charles won’t travel anywhere without his own white leather lavatory seat”.
If that wasn’t odd enough, it was then revealed that Queenie is so petrified that her real character is about to be exposed, she has taken up a strange hobby to try and distract her thoughts:
” At Balmoral, the Queen bizarrely enjoys trying to catch bats that haunt the upper reaches of the great hall.
With the help of a footman, she uses a large net attached to a long pole.
The bats, which are a protected species, are then released, returning night after night.
The Queen then repeats the exercise the next day.”
What a truly fooked-up family they are.