Environmentalists are concerned that a recent surge in the sale of Andrex in the SW1 area is impacting on South American rainforests.
Betty Woodsgone of the Greenery Preservation Foundation explains :
” When we first heard Her Maj had the runs we weren’t unduly worried. Diarrhoea is usually over within 3-5 days and a good dose of Imodium is normally all that’s needed.
Unfortunately this particular bout has gone on for a staggering 12 days and the associated spike in the sale of toilet rolls is beginning to impact on regional forest areas.
We would urge Palace officials to advise Her Maj that if things aren’t under control soon they will have to seriously look at alternative post-toilette arrangements.”