Is it ‘cos I’m fat?

wagon wheel

There are unconfirmed reports tonight that the return of controversial ex-deputy mayor, Ray Lewis, is linked to the  Anti-Tubbyism Act 2012.

After being placed on a list of banned organisations, members of F.L.O.P.S ( Fat Lads of Politics Society ) have been experiencing increasing levels of harassment from the police and Lewis has been called in to coach the group on how to respond.

In a recent incident, Stephen Greenhalgh was subjected to a humiliating stop and search at a Central London tube station by Anti-Tubbyism officers, who suspected he was in possession of illegal substances.

“He was walking in a most unusual manner ” claimed an eye-witness at the scene ” there were also loud rustling noises coming from his trouser legs”.

Officers suspicions were confirmed when several half-eaten wagon wheels fell from Greenhalgh’s ankles and a further stash of chocolate products were found in the pocket of his duffle coat.

Boris had previously put the group on a strict 3,000 calories a day diet but this had disastrous consequences ( and he was forced to abandon the restrictive regime and bring back Lewis instead.

According to one City Hall insider : ” Boris is hoping he can counter the heavy-handed police tactics used to target overweight people who are being discriminated against following the recently deadly “fatness plague” in London.

He’s confident that Ray is the best man for the job and believes that “Fat Power” will  become a political force to be reckoned with”.

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