Let them eat steak…


There were red faces all round at Downing Street this evening after the PM’s latest publicity stunt backfired badly.

Stung by criticism that the Tories have no idea what it’s like to live in the real world, Dave and best chum Gideon Osbourne, decided to “go native” and make an incognito visit to a local foodbank.

“They stuck out like sore thumbs as soon as they walked in” said charity volunteer Betty Dogood “they were both dressed in tracksuits and trainers and spoke with bizarre faux-cockney accents”.

According to other witnesses, the duo were unable to identify most of the products on the foodbank shelves and spent a ridiculous amount of time asking all and sundry “what the hell is a Bird’s trifle?”.

Things took a turn for the worse when Betty offered Dave a tray of baked faggots.

“He just went berserk” she said “apparently he thought I was having a sly dig at his recent witch-hunt comments which is simply not true”.

Dave and Gideon then proceeded to go on a “Bullingdon” style rampage throughout the centre.

“There were tins of pilchards flying everywhere” said centre-user Fred Piddlington. “It was carnage”.

The two toffs managed to escape through a back door to their waiting Daimler, just before police arrived on the scene and were last seen heading towards Fortnum and Mason for a ” real hamper”.


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